


Afterglow

by theredhat13



Category: Derry Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23648569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theredhat13/pseuds/theredhat13
Summary: 2005 - Erin and James are staring down an important day. They reminisce about their relationship, going all the way back to end of Series 2. The other girls makes appearances.
Relationships: Clare Devlin/Original Female Character(s), David Donnelly/Orla McCool, James Maguire/Erin Quinn
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	1. The Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here's a multi-chapter fic. I don't really know how this will go. I'm going to try really hard to keep it up to date. Comment if you like it or if it's trash and you've got a suggestion.  
> Very not Irish person - sorry for inaccuracies. Isle of Sheppey features because I lived there, so I could visualise it and selfishly love the little place.  
> Hope you enjoy. :)

Erin lay in the dark room, stretching her hand over the cotton sheets and feeling strangely alone without him. Only for one night, she told herself. They’d been apart much longer than this before and he wasn’t far from her. She’d see him tomorrow morning. After that she’d see him every day for the rest of her life…or at least, she certainly hoped that would be the case. Her bedroom looked much like it had when she left for University not long after she’d turned 18. On the back of her bedroom door hung the garment bag with her dress inside. It had taken two actual days and trying on a lot more dresses until she found the one she loved, finally settling on it when even Michelle got just a bit teary-eyed. Not that she’d admitted it. She turned on her side, looking out the window. She had left the curtains open, knowing she’d probably never be able to sleep anyway. The moon was full, glowing in the midnight sky. Erin wondered if he was as unsettled as she was, not because she wasn’t sure that this was what she wanted, but because this was the biggest thing she’d ever done and where she was concerned, things had a way of not going to plan. Could he be in his old bedroom looking at the moon just like she was? Or was he sound asleep, unfazed by what tomorrow would bring? She wanted to think he was doing the same thing as her, just staring at the moon and praying for luck.

James had always known she would want to get married back in Derry, despite having made their home on the Isle of Sheppey, near the sea. She hadn’t been quite so sure about being that far from her family, from where she’d always known everyone and everything, but she did like being so close to the water, the pebbled beaches and bicycle paths that ran along the edge of them. She also liked that it was quiet and small, but still close enough to go shopping in London for the day. It had been in the house they rented there that he’d truly known he would marry her. She’d sat on the window seat that looked out onto the street, writing in the journal he had bought her that past Christmas when they’d gone back to Derry to visit. She paused, the pen she held resting against her bottom lip, and without a word she stood up and turned on the television before sitting down beside him. He wrapped his arm around her and looked up from the book when he heard a familiar sound. Doctor Who had only recently come back and although it wasn’t the one he had grown up watching, he had to admit he very much enjoyed this new version. Because it was so new, he’d forgotten that it was on that night, but she hadn’t. He knew she didn’t particularly like it, would not have chosen to watch it if she was alone, and that was the moment. Now he looked out the window at the moon and imagined she was too. He doubted she would be sleeping. No, she’d be laying there overthinking everything like always. All he wanted was for the sun to rise so he could see her, hold her again. Forever.

Ten Years Earlier  
Erin wasn’t sure how she felt. She hated him, except she didn’t. She should, he’d bloody abandoned them, made them miss Clinton – a Once in a Lifetime event she was sure – but no matter how she tried to hold onto that fiery rage it kept fading each time her gaze fell on him. She remembered the first time she’d seen him, that mop of curly hair, the accent she almost but didn’t quite understand, green eyes that looked inexplicably lost as Michelle talked about him though he wasn’t even there. It was easy to just ignore him then. Not to mention that he’d pissed in the waste paper basket later that same day in front of them. Quickly, he’d just become one of the girls and Erin barely registered him as being anything other. Though, if she was honest, without intent, she often found herself sitting next to him. Something about him drew her in and she wasn’t sure why. She liked the way he smelled, like soap and something distinctly male she couldn’t figure out. She liked the way she fit next to him, could lean against him. But it had been easy before to ignore those intrusive ideas.  
Katya coming had been the first hint to her, but she insisted she’d have done it for any of the other girls if she thought someone was just using them. That wasn’t true, but she told herself as much. And besides, she’d ended up ruining all their nights with her nonsense, so James was going to fancy her after that. And then there was the wedding, the way he had pulled her in when Rock the Boat started, making sure she was in front of him. Again, she forced herself to think he was just a Derry Girl. Just making sure she didn’t miss out. Being helpful like a good English fella. And if it had just kept up being these little moments, she could have kept her feelings at bay. Except then the fucker had turned up for Prom, just as she had resigned herself to the fact John Paul was a right dick and she wouldn’t be going. She’d heard the doorbell, wiped her eyes to make sure it didn’t look like she’d been crying. And even though she didn’t think it’d be John Paul, she opened the door. James stood there, that Doctor Who scarf around his neck and a tentative smile on his face.  
“Your Mum rang me,” he said after they’d both just looked at each other for a few seconds.  
“But what about your creep convention?” she’d teased but she secretly thought she’d never been so happy to see James in her life.  
“Okay, it’s not a creep convention,” he said but he smiled, it was okay. “And it’s not important. Shall we go?”  
Erin had realised then that James would be there no matter what she wore, and that she could still get out of this stupid dress she’d thought was a good idea. “Can you give me a minute?” she asked.  
James nodded and Erin turned, making her way up the stairs. She knew he would wait, he was reliable and kind. Her Easter dress that she’d been sure John Paul wouldn’t fancy hung there and she grabbed it, throwing it onto her bed. Quickly as she could, she wiggled out of the dress Michelle had bought using Deidre’s credit card. She was very careful not to tear it, knowing Michelle planned to return it. Less carefully she pulled on her Easter dress and went back out, ready to go to prom with James Maguire. He turned when he realised she was back, and there was this look on his face that made Erin’s heart beat just a little faster. She walked down, pushing her hair back from her face despite the fact that it wasn’t really in the way, and took James arm when he offered it. And though she was never going to admit it that was the moment she fell hopelessly in love with him. 

So, when he had refused to link up and told them he was leaving, her heart had absolutely shattered into a million pieces. Especially after she’d insisted he loved it here in Derry and he’d replied that he wasn’t sure he did. Partly it hurt because Erin loved Derry, it was her home, it was a special place but it also hurt because Erin felt like maybe he didn’t care about her as much as she had thought he did. And then, he was gone. Not for lack of trying on Michelle’s part. Erin tried to focus but she couldn’t stop her brain from running at a million miles an hour. And then, almost as quickly as he’d left he was there, yelling that he was a Derry Girl. They all ran to him and when his gaze had fallen on her, she had felt two emotions: hate and love. She supposed that was fair, you often hated things because of how much you actually loved them. Erin didn’t like it though. And now, here she was, walking with her friends, James beside her, and she still wasn’t sure how she felt. All because James Maguire had come into her life.


	2. Chapter Two: How Do You Feel?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day is finally here. Erin thinks about the day she shared her first kiss with James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two. Yes, it's going to very slowly follow their wedding day, flashbacks feature heavily obviously. These two are very fun to write about, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Suggestions, comments, reviews greatly appreciated. Until next chapter, cheers.

The sun woke her, shining in through the window and falling onto her face. It took her a moment to really wake up, but once she had she almost fell out of bed in her eagerness to get the day started. She pulled her hair up and padded across the carpeted floor to the bathroom. It was 6am so nobody was up yet to steal the bathroom. In an hour or so, everybody would be bustling around the house getting ready. 

Nine Years Earlier  
Erin lay in the bathtub, looking at the ceiling. In a week, she’d celebrate her 17th birthday which wasn’t exactly officially an important one, but it was bloody important to her. Michelle had already snuck several bottles of vodka into Erin’s bedroom which Erin didn’t exactly approve of, mostly on the account that she’d face the wooden spoon if her mammy found ‘em. All Erin really cared about was that James would be there. He’d gone to visit his Ma over Christmas and New Year, and they hadn’t really been alone since his return. Plus alcohol helped with this kind of thing. The kind of thing where she was going to tell James that she rather fancied him. She tried to practice what she’d say but she couldn’t make the words sound right.   
“So I wanted to tell you,” she tried, “No. Eejit. Stupid.”  
“James, I’ve been thinking…”  
“Would you like to hang out with me sometime…alone?” she tried and then cursed herself for sounding so stupid.  
“Ach, who you wanna be alone with then?” Orla asked.  
“Get out Orla,” Erin screamed, throwing the shampoo bottle at her.   
“I don’t want this,” she said, moving just slightly aside so it hit the door and not her.  
“Orla, I’m in the bath,” Erin growled at her cousin. Sometimes she wished Mammy would put locks on the doors. Or at least the bathroom one.   
“So?”   
“So get out,” Erin sighed, wishing her cousin was just a tiny bit more aware of things.   
“A’ight then. You’ll tell everyone anyway. You never shut up about yourself,” Orla laughed, closing the door behind her.   
“Fucker,” Erin mumbled to herself before she emptied the tub and wrapped the towel around her. At least she didn’t hear the part where Erin had used his name. And she had been sure and not write about her feelings for James in her diary. She kept them locked up in her mind where they could just drive her crazy instead. 

The family part of her birthday had been a right craic, and she’d thoroughly enjoyed herself but now, as they sat in her bedroom and past round a bottle of vodka, she felt at home. Michelle took quite a large swig before passing it to Clare, who immediately passed it to Erin.   
“You’re supposed to be letting go a bit Clare,” Michelle scolded. “It’s our Erin’s birthday.”  
“We have school tomorrow,” Clare reminded her. “Besides, it tastes like poison.”  
“It’s not about the taste,” Michelle laughed. “It’s about getting drunk.”  
“Aye, cause we all make great decisions when we’re drunk don’t we Michelle?” Clare retorted.  
“Is this still about the fucking notice board? Look that was nearly two years ago Clare. Let it go.”  
“I’ll let it go when Fionnula lets it go,” Clare replied. “We have to go to the next town over for a decent chippy now.”  
“Oh Christ Clare, it’s as if I killed your mother,” Michelle sighed, laying down and twirling a piece of her hair around her fingers. “It was an honest mistake.”  
“It was not an honest mistake,” Clare said, but they all knew Michelle was never going to admit that. The closest she came to it was that night she’d nicked it and admitted she’d been drunk at the time.   
“I don’t know why you can’t just not have fried food,” James said, and that set the three of them off into an argument. Erin took a shot from the bottle before passing it to Orla, who was playing with her lighter.   
“Alright enough arguing. We should go somewhere,” Erin said, loudly enough that it settled the lot of them.   
“It’s a Thursday night,” James pointed out.   
“Jenny Joyce is having a party on Saturday,” Orla said quietly.   
“Ach, Jenny Joyce really?” Michelle said. “Besides, I dunno if we’d be welcome after little miss prostitute over here.”  
“She had condoms and boys giving her money,” Erin countered. “And she wanted to ride James. I mean…seriously?”  
“Aye, that’s true,” Michelle laughed. “But I still reckon she’d kick us out.”  
“It’s been a while, and she’s the forgiving type,” Clare said. “Plus it is Erin’s birthday weekend. We should at least go and see.”  
“Look at you loosening up after all,” Michelle smiled. Clare blushed.  
“Fine,” Erin pouted. “I mean, it won’t be me actual birthday but it’ll do.”  
“And until then, let’s raise a bottle to Erin Quinn!” Michelle cheered.  
“To Erin,” the rest of the girls…and James…agreed. 

She’d gotten a new dress for her birthday from Granda, it was a dark green colour and velvet but having looked it over with a harsh eye earlier that evening, she decided it did quite suit her. It fell just below her knees and sat nicely on her shoulders. She wondered if he liked it. Then she went and got herself a drink. Jenny hadn’t looked thrilled when they’d turned up but given the amount of people they could hear, and see, inside, it didn’t seem like they would run into each other through the night. She’d let them in with a sigh and a glare at Erin. James hadn’t said anything but Erin’s dress but then none of them had. Which usually would not have bothered her. Clare was talking to Aisling, and for once Clare looked relaxed. Michelle was kissing a bloke, Erin couldn’t see from where she stood who he was but she felt a little sorry for him. He had no idea what he was in for. Orla was at the chocolate fountain again and David Donnelly was sitting, smoking a fag and watching Orla. Erin should have cared but all she wondered was where James had disappeared to. And then a group of boys bumped into her and spilled their drinks down her dress.   
“Jesus Christ,” Erin shouted. “Fuck.”  
“Sorry,” one of the boys laughed, but they clearly didn’t care.   
Erin pushed past them and ran up the stairs. She opened the door to the first room she found and sat on the bed inside. Tears fell and she cursed herself for being so stupid. Her new dress, now ruined, clung to her. Mammy would have a fit when she saw it. She’d tell Erin how hopeless she was, how she never looked after anything. She let out a sob, and buried her face in her hands. This was supposed to be the night, and now she was covered in alcohol and James had disappeared. With a creak the door opened and James realised Erin was in there. He went to shut the door and step out until he realised she was crying.   
“Erin, what happened?” he asked her. He came over and put his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder.   
“It’s not important,” she said, swiping the tears away from her cheeks.   
“It made you cry. You didn’t even cry on Prom night,” he replied cautiously.   
“I would’ve,” Erin said, smiling at the memory and because James was pressed against her.   
“Well, either way, what happened?” he asked.  
“Some eejits spilled their drinks on my dress,” she said, pulling away and turning around to show him the stain that covered the front of her.   
“It still looks good,” James said softly. “You still look good.”  
Erin stared at him for a minute, and her leg bounced up and down with nervous energy before she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. It was worth a shot. If he didn’t fancy her and pulled away, she could blame being drunk and sad. He didn’t pull away though. For a moment, he did nothing. Then he kissed her back, pulling her towards him. They fell back onto the bed.   
“I wasn’t sure if you…” Erin said breathlessly when they pulled apart for a moment. His face was inches from hers. His green eyes looked at her as though she was the only person in the world.   
“I’ve fancied you for a long time,” James responded. “You were one of the reasons I couldn’t leave Derry.”  
“What happens now?” Erin asked, realising that just admitting to James she fancied him was the first in several hurdles. Like telling their friends…telling Michelle.   
“You kiss me again,” James smiled, and for tonight, that would be enough.


	3. Loving You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning of their wedding, and everybody finds out about their relationship in flashback form, because that's what this story is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people who have commented/given kudos. Hope you enjoy. There's at least another 3 chapters, and then I don't know. As always, very not Irish person trying hard to put myself in Erin's shoes. Enjoy and let me know what ya'll are thinking if you want. :)  
> Cheers.

Erin sat at the kitchen table as Saoirse pulled her hair into a braid. Clare already had her make-up done and smiled at a clearly nervous Erin.   
“You’ll look beautiful,” she said, resting a hand on her friend’s knee. “I actually can’t believe it’s finally happening. Though I always thought it would. Ever since the day we found out I was pretty sure.”  
“You told me I was a fool,” Erin reminded her.   
“Okay, sure. But after I thought about it,” Clare laughed. “And besides, I kind of…liked you back then. I couldn’t have told ya that then though.”  
“Yeah I know. I mean, I thought maybe…I wasn’t a great friend about all that. Sorry.”  
“Ach, it’s all behind us now innit?” Clare replied. And she really meant that. She’d forgiven Erin’s reaction to her coming out a long while ago. She knew Erin cared about her. “And besides, if I’d pined after you I’d never have found Saoirse would I?”  
“Catch yourself on Clare,” Saoirse quipped, looking at her girlfriend. “I asked you out. And you went red as a tomato and ran out the store remember?”  
“I came back,” Clare said defensively.   
“Good thing you did too,” Saoirse said, placing a bobby pin in Erin’s hair to hold the braid in place at the front. The rest of the blonde hair cascaded down her back in gentle curls. “All done.”  
“Thanks Saoirse,” Erin said, picking up the mirror and looking at herself. “Ready to help me get into this monster of a dress?”

James stood outside the church, Michelle beside him bouncing from one foot to the other. She watched the wee little toddler follow Anna around, pulling at the girl’s sparkly dress. Michelle had never actually anticipated having children, but when she’d found herself pregnant she knew she didn’t want to be like her Aunt Kathy. Even alone, she didn’t regret it for a minute.  
“I still can’t believe her parents are ‘ight with their wee Erin marrying some English fella,” Michelle teased an anxious looking James. He’d already fixed his tie twice in the ten minutes since they’d gotten out of the car.   
“I still can’t believe your parents are ‘ight with you being a mother to an actual living child,” he teased back. “Niamh, careful!”  
“Oi, she’s just playin’,” Michelle said, but she walked over and picked the little girl up all the same.   
“Sorry I know,” he sighed, dragging a hand through his hair before fiddling with his tie again.   
“Stop it,” Michelle said, grabbing onto his hand and squeezing tight. “She loves you, for whatever reason…”  
“Michelle,” James interrupted.  
“Hang on I’m not done! She loves you, this is going to be a great day. Everything will be fine. Even if things don’t go to plan, she’s going to be your wife at the end of today.”  
“Aye,” James said with a smile. Michelle placed Niamh back down at her feet, the toddler clinging to her mother’s leg as more cars pulled up and people started to walk into the church. Michelle was right. The only thing that matter was that today he would marry Erin Quinn.

Nine Years Earlier  
James led Erin by the hand to his bedroom, gingerly shutting the door behind them. It had been a month since the party, since she had kissed him. He’d woken up the next morning and hoped it wasn’t some drunken mistake on her part. But then she’d turned up at his doorstep and handed him a piece of paper. He expected it to be some sort of long letter, that was an Erin thing to do, but it was just a few words. “James, will you be my boyfriend?” was scrawled in her perfect handwriting. He’d laughed and kissed her, and even though they’d never really said it aloud, they’d dated ever since.   
“Hi,” he said to her, smiling. Sure, he’d seen her all day at school but aside from the occasional brush against one another they hid it around the girls. Neither of them was really sure how to tell the group. He leaned down and kissed her, one hand on her hip, the other slowly sliding up under her skirt, resting on her thigh. She giggled but didn’t move away. Several kisses followed before Erin began to unbutton his shirt, starting at the bottom and working her way up. He was nervous, he’d never had sex before. She knew that, but he felt like, even though he knew she hadn’t gone all the way either, she had more experience. What if it was rubbish? If he was rubbish?  
“Don’t overthink it,” Erin said as though she could read his mind. With that, he pulled off his shirt and Erin ran her hand along his chest. It made him shiver, but in a good way…if that was possible. She pulled him toward the bed, and when he lay back she straddled her legs on either side of his hips, placing a breathy kiss on his neck right below his ear. She made a trail of kisses from there until she reached the waistband of his trousers. She looked at him then, locking eyes as if to check in with him. Then she smiled and unclipped his belt, pulling it off and throwing it onto the floor. She leaned back down and kissed his lips, her mouth open, inviting him in. He reached down as they kissed, slowly undoing the buttons on her blouse. She then slipped out of the shirt, letting it fall beside her. He looked at her for a moment, taking her in. A few months ago he never would have imagined this would be how he’d get to spend his time with Erin.   
“’Ight?” she asked, and he realised he’d stopped. He nodded and kissed her again, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him. 

They lay cuddled together, Erin’s eyes half closed as her head rested against his chest. She felt different, and yet, it was different she very much liked. She’d always kind of expected to lose her virginity with David Donnelly, or John Paul, or some other lad. Never actually imagined it would be James. Actually, she had, but only in the past several weeks. She reached her hand up and ran it through his curls. His green eyes looked down at her, and he had that goofy smile on his face. The one that made her smile too.   
“Can you imagine if Michelle came home now?” Erin mused, even though he’d assured her that Michelle was out with some lad she’d met the other week.   
“God, we’re going to have to tell her…everyone, sooner or later. I’d rather not be caught out by my cousin. She might actually follow through and kill me.”  
“She’d wanna try,” Erin said. “But I know. I hate keeping it from ‘em. A week, let’s give it one more week. Then we can tell ‘em. Promise.”  
James wrapped his arms back around her and she closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth and the way his skin felt against hers. It made her feel safe…and sleepy. 

"What do you make of this then?" Michelle's voice said. Erin woke to the sound, and James groaned beside her. It was only then she realised it was dark. How late was it?

"Get up ya prick," Michelle said, kicking the bed. That made James jump. Not that there was any explanation for why they were lying, all but completely naked, in the same bed.

"What the hell Michelle? Why are you in my room?"

"Erin's Ma called round, she was looking for Erin. Nobody knew where ya were."

"Fuck. Mammy's gonna kill us."

"Suppose she would if she knew. I can't believe you two."

"Michelle," Erin started.

"Save it. I actually don't want to know."

"I didn't know you liked James," Orla said quietly.

"Do you think, you could get out of my bedroom?!" James shouted.

"Fine, but you two better explain this soon. And Erin if you tell me that James is a ride I think I might just boke on the pair of ya," Michelle said, ushering Orla out the door.

"Well that went as planned," Erin sighed.

"Does anything ever go according to plan for you Erin?" James said, but he smiled and she knew somehow it would all work out.

As it was, Michelle had made a rather big fuss about it, but she eventually came round. Clare was delighted, something about her two favourite people…Erin kind of tuned her out after she just went on and on. Orla seemed to have forgotten that Erin and James had ever been a separate entity at all, and was more interested in whether she could melt James’ old watch. Erin would have asked why but she’d learnt how futile that was with Orla so she just left James to that one. At least, when they told Mammy and Da, and Granda, it went smoother. Mostly for the fact that they made sure they weren’t caught naked in James’ room. Granda definitely would have killed him in that case.


	4. Miles Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Erin deal with living far apart for University.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the lovely commenters! I'm really glad you've enjoyed the journey so far, it's been a long time since I've gone full fan fic mode. I hope you like this next chapter because it might be a few days before the next one as I'm back to work and the next chapter is proving very difficult to write (so many re-writes). 
> 
> Again, it's super helpful when you comment/review because I love to know what you think and I hope it makes it better for you guys! 
> 
> Cheers.

You could have walked up to Erin and told her you’d murdered her whole family and she still wouldn’t have been able to wipe the smile off her face. Her da had his arm linked through hers as the music played and she made her way down the aisle. Everybody was standing, looking at only her and though usually she’d have thrilled at the idea she was the centre of attention, she found she didn’t care about everybody. It was the green eyes that looked her over at the front of the church that mattered.   
James heart raced as she slowly walked closer. He’d felt that nervous energy rising the moment Niamh and Anna had walked down, their little flower girls. Clare and Orla had followed, their gowns almost the same light blue colour as Erin’s eyes. And then she’d been there and he didn’t know that she could possibly be more beautiful. He felt Michelle elbow him in the ribs but he didn’t even acknowledge it.   
“There you are love,” Da Gerry said as they reach the altar and he let go of his eldest daughter.   
She kissed his cheek. “Thanks Da.”  
And then she took the hand that James offered her and stood in front of him. She’d known for years this was where she wanted to be. Since that first kiss, this was the only way there relationship could go. She’d always known she couldn’t bear to be apart from him. 

Six Years Earlier  
She’d said three months and he’d agreed…or at least he certainly hadn’t tried to contact her and it had been two so far. Erin was counting down each day, the calendar on her wall above her desk littered with hearts that were crossed out as the end of this nonsense drew closer. She’d always planned on going to Ulster University, graduate with an English degree, and maybe even write something spectacular that saw her become a published author. If that didn’t pan out, maybe she could teach, be a better version of what Ms De Brun had been because she wouldn’t shift off just for a better wage. When James had told her he wanted to go back to London for university she’d expected it, even encouraged him to go. She knew, as much as he had become a Derry Girl, London had been home to him for 15 years of his life and it pulled him in much like Derry pulled her to stay. Besides they could visit each other, flights weren’t that expensive and James always had a home in Derry. At first, it had been okay. They’d both been busy with their studies, making some new friends and Clare and Michelle had both chosen to attend Ulster University with Erin. Orla had taken a year off to explore the world, but that seemed mostly to consist of working as a waitress in a pub while she travelled around the United Kingdom. Erin had pointed out that the UK wasn’t exactly the world but Orla was rather happy making her way alone so nobody had stopped her. Then she’d come back announcing she was going to University after all and packed up to Belfast. It had seemed like their adult life had fallen into place.   
On the last night of Erin’s visit to London, James had seemed oddly distant. And as they lay in his studio room, Erin listening to his beating heart, she’d found out why.   
“Maybe we should…take a break. Not see each other for a bit,” James said in a voice so soft Erin wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. She tilted her head up and looked at him, and he could see the pain clearly on her face, in her eyes.   
“It’s not that I don’t love you,” he said.  
“Then why?” Erin asked, and she could see the utter confusion on his face. He seemed like he’d thought about this but she couldn’t understand it, and she didn’t think this was what he really wanted. Wasn’t sure why he was doing this.   
“It’s just…well we’ve never really been apart since we were 15 and I just wonder if I’m…if I’m what you really want in life. We’re so different Erin. And you’re my first…my only everything. I just…what if we just hold on because we’re afraid of letting go?” James had managed to share his thoughts slowly. He actually didn’t care, he loved Erin with all his heart, but was that enough? Was he good enough for her? Better to know now wasn’t it?  
“You don’t want to be with me?” Erin asked, her voice cracking. He could see the tears in her eyes that she desperately held back.  
“I didn’t say that,” James replied, but he could feel the heat radiating off her and he knew how she’d taken it. Stupid.   
“Fuck you James,” Erin said, pulling herself away from him. She grabbed her already packed bag, she always made sure to pack the night before she had to fly home because…things often came up where Erin was concerned and she’d missed more than one flight. “I hope I never see your face again!”  
“Erin!” James said, jumping up and reaching for her hand.  
“Don’t fucking touch me,” Erin hissed at him. He regretted opening his stupid mouth, he didn’t want to let her go but he knew he’d hurt her, knew that at least she’d need time to calm down alone. He really didn’t want her to leave like this, he could see the tears spilling down her face…but he let her go. 

He’d called Michelle later that day, when he knew Erin should have arrived back, and despite the fact that she’d yelled at him for quite a long time, she confirmed that Erin did indeed make it back and was safe. Then she swore at him some more until he just hung up the phone because he was getting nowhere. He tried Erin several times but every time it just went to her messages. So he’d just lay down in his bed and held his phone in his hand, staring at the ceiling and hoping she’d forgive him.  
When his phone rang around 2am, waking him from a dream he couldn’t remember, he answered it immediately.  
“Erin?” he asked, he had been so fast to answer that he hadn’t looked at the number calling.   
“Hi,” she said and he could hear she’d been crying. It was his fault.  
“Erin, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…”  
“Maybe you were right. What do I know? Three months…we leave each other alone for three months. Do whatever we want. Then we re-evaluate…if we want to.”  
“Erin, are you sure? I don’t actually…” James tried. He didn’t want this. Her leaving had shown him that. He could actual feel himself on the verge of tears and he could count the times he’d cried before.   
“Bye James,” she said, and then that was it. He’d lay there for the longest time with the phone still against his cheek, trying and failing to understand what had just happened.

Two months. That was how long she had lasted, and most of that was because she had secretly stolen his denim jacket the last time she was with him. She’d packed it in her bag, figuring she’d see him after a couple of weeks and could return it. Then he’d…well, she certainly hoped he’d said it because he just thought it was the right thing to do and not because he’d truly meant it. It had hurt at the time, it still did a little, but after talking to the girls they’d pointed out this behaviour didn’t sound like James. Maybe he was trying to be a gentleman. Maybe it was one of his, as Michelle had beautifully put it, ‘cock-head’ English friends that gave him the idea. She’d worn the jacket onto the plane and hoped he wouldn’t be mad. She was breaking her own rule, she’d said three months…but it had already been too long. She stood in front of his apartment door, and with a deep breath and a bigger wave of courage, she knocked on the door. She heard him moving inside and when he opened the door Erin leapt into his arms and wrapped herself around him tightly. He stumbled back a bit at the surprise but caught his balance.   
“You said three months,” he laughed, and Erin could tell he wasn’t angry.   
“Did I? That doesn’t sound right,” Erin replied, feigning ignorance.   
“That’s where it went,” he said, realising she was wearing his jacket. “Good.”  
“Don’t ever do that again,” she said to him.  
“Never. I missed you,” he said, kissing her. And that was that. They both knew that for them, this was the relationship that they wanted, that would last.


	5. It's You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin faces an unexpected decision - also more wedding stuff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING - this chapter is a bit heavy, and also I don't know still if I like it or not, so apologies if it's not as good as the other chapters. Mention of miscarriage so if that's something that could be a problem for you, might be better to skip this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you again to the lovely reviewers who have commented, and the next chapter is the last. Although I have thought about doing more based on the other characters so if that's something you'd like, I might do that. 
> 
> Cheers and enjoy.

The priest began the ceremony, welcoming them all, but Erin only saw the smile on James’ face, the tie he had clearly done and then undone several times. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back, everything was grand. Niamh struggled a little in Michelle’s arms, like toddlers often do when forced to be still for even a minute. It didn’t matter. There’s was nothing that could make this day less than perfect.   
When it came time for the rings, James recited his vows and slide the ring gently onto her finger. Erin did the same. After a few minutes, the words she’d waited all day for finally came.   
“You may now kiss the bride,” the priest said, and James leaned forward and kissed her. And as if by some cosmic force or ungodly timing, that was the moment she suddenly felt like she was about to boke. Without thinking she pushed James back and raced, or shuffled as fast as she could in her dress, out of the church.   
James stood there for a minute, watching Michelle tell Anna to watch Niamh and then race off after Erin. Clare looked desperately between him and the door, not sure who needed her more. Mary and Gerry had both stood up in their place, confused and unsure what to do. Although Mary rather expected some kind of scene, it was Erin’s wedding after all. And when it came to those girls…well, trouble usually wasn’t far off. Even in their adult years.   
“Shotgun weddin’ is it then aye?” Michelle teased when she found Erin who had very clearly just boked in the garden.  
“What do you know Michelle?” Erin said, but she had to admit she had the same thought as Michelle.  
“I mean, I did have a daughter,” Michelle said. “Shit I left Niamh with all them adults. You reckon she’ll be okay?”  
Erin laughed. “Probably better off with them.”  
“Seriously though, you alright?” Michelle asked.  
“Surprisingly yes actually,” Erin sighed. “Is James alright?”  
“He’ll be fine.”  
As if on cue, James came around the corner with Clare and Orla close behind.  
“Sorry,” Erin told them, feeling awkward standing there with the way they were all focused on her.  
“Are you…” James said before she interrupted.  
“I’m fine. Honestly.”  
“Catch yourself on,” Clare said, “you just ran out of the church. In front of everyone. Including I don’t know, your husband!”  
“Calm down Clare,” Michelle said. “She’s fine.”  
“Really Clare, it’s alright,” Erin added, looking at James. “I’d kiss you again now but…I think it might be better if I didn’t.”  
“See?! It’s not fine,” Clare cried.   
“Oh my god Clare,” Erin said with a giggle. “You really are thick sometimes. Come on, you can help me freshen up and then we can do the photos.”  
“What do you…wait, are you?”  
They all looked at her then but she only looked at James.   
“I think so,” was all Erin could honestly say back. 

Six Years Earlier  
Erin flipped the test over not that she’d needed to. She already knew what she would see but she had to be certain. With a sigh she finally turned it over to see the two lines she’d been expecting. The second one was faint, but it was definitely there. She threw the test across the room at the door and listened to it skitter across the tiles. She’d made sure the girls weren’t home before she’d locked herself in the bathroom.   
“Fuck,” she said to herself before the tears came. This was not what she wanted. She had big plans for this year. She’d graduate with her degree in English, then she’d go on and do a year of post-grad so she could become a teacher. That’d earn her enough money to do what she really wanted, which was to write. And to write she needed to travel, needed freedom…which she could all throw right in the bin if she had a baby to care for.   
“Hello?” she heard Michelle’s voice call. Erin froze, hoping Michelle would just go off to her room or that she’d forgotten something and would be back out again in just a moment. Then she heard Michelle call her name and realised her wallet and keys were on the counter in the kitchen.   
“I’m in the loo,” Erin yelled back, flushing the toilet and picking the test up off the floor. She shoved it into the pocket of her jacket and washed her hands.   
“Jesus,” Erin jumped as she opened the door to Michelle. She looked at her friend and wanted to tell her but she also wanted to keep it lock up tight, as if not telling anyone would make it just disappear.  
“No, but close enough,” Michelle laughed. Until she saw the look on Erin’s face. She’d rarely seen Erin look truly miserable but right now Erin looked as though someone had told her she couldn’t write for shit or that James had broken up with her…again. “What happened? If it was that cousin of mine I’ll happily murder the prick.”  
“No, it’s not that,” Erin said, tapping her foot on the floor. “I mean, it’s nothing. You scared me that’s all.”  
“Catch yourself on,” Michelle said, not letting Erin passed. “I have known you long enough to know when you’re lying.”  
“Aye well then you don’t know me all that well because I ain’t lying Michelle. Why do ya have to be such a bloody mouth sometimes?”  
Michelle raised an eyebrow, and crossed her arms, the bracelets around her wrists jangling as she did so. She wasn’t one to just let things go. Especially not when she knew she was right. Then an idea hit her.   
“I’ll ring James then shall I? I bet he’ll tell me what your problem is,” Michelle smirked, walking over to the phone. She was pretty sure he’d be in class but it wouldn’t matter, she just needed Erin to think she was calling James.   
“Go ahead,” Erin hissed.   
“Don’t think I won’t,” Michelle replied as she picked up the receiver and began to dial. Erin looked at her nervously, one hand meeting her lips so she could bite her nails as if that would make things better.   
“Michelle?” Erin heard his voice through the phone. It was muffled and she didn’t know what he said next.  
“It is I. What’s wrong with Erin?”  
Silence from Michelle and muffled talking.   
“Erin’s being odd. She won’t talk about it.”  
Erin walked over and pressed the button to hang up the call, knowing James would probably ring back now stressing over her. She should have stopped Michelle earlier but she’d been frozen to the spot.   
“I was having a conversation!” Michelle yelled, rolling her eyes.   
“You really want to know what’s wrong?” Erin asked her friend. Michelle might be rough around the edges but somehow Erin felt like Michelle actually might be the easiest one to tell this information to. Easier than it would be to tell James…which she’d have to do, no matter what other decision she made.   
“Course I do.”  
“Here,” Erin said, pulling out the test from her pocket and sliding it across the counter to Michelle.   
“Oh my god…”  
As soon as Michelle said that, Erin couldn’t hold back her tears. Michelle wrapped her up in her arms and told her it would be okay. Erin didn’t think it would be okay, but she appreciated the sentiment all the same. 

Erin heard the knock on the door and looked at her clock. It was 2am! Then she thought perhaps Michelle had gone off to some party and forgotten her keys. It wouldn’t be the first time. She walked down the hall, still half asleep and opened the door to see a clearly anxious James standing there.  
“Are you alright?” he asked, looking her up and down like he expected her to be missing a limb or something.   
“How did you…” Erin mumbled. He must have come after Michelle called. She couldn’t help but smile. He very clearly loved her.   
“I was worried about you. Michelle was being weird and then the phone just…I thought something terrible must have happened.”  
“I mean,” Erin said, feeling those tears she thought she’d cried out coming back.  
“Erin?” James said, looking at her with tears filling her eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d saw her really cry. “Hey, it’s alright. Whatever it is, it’s alright.”  
She stepped forward, covering the space between them and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest and mumbling something he couldn’t understand.   
“You know I can’t understand you when you talk to my sweater?” James told her but kindly, gently, in that way that made Erin remember why she’d fallen for an English fella and not those Derry boys.   
“I’m pregnant James,” he heard it the second time she said it. And he understood. Erin wasn’t opposed to children, they had talked about having them one day. But one day. Not now. She was driven and ambitious, part of why he loved her, and this…this changed everything they’d planned.   
“I’ll support you, no matter what choice you make. You know that don’t you?” James told her and a tiny sigh of relief came from her. Erin felt like this was one weight that had been lifted. It wasn’t as if she’d expected him to insist they immediately marry and keep the baby but in the back of her mind she was worried about his reaction. “But can I come inside?”  
Erin jumped back for a moment, realising suddenly that they were still standing in the doorway, and then she smiled up at him through teary eyes. “Of course.”

James had insisted on staying through the weekend and that Sunday night Erin was glad to feel his arm around her as she tried to fall asleep. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but she was sure that this was the right one. Until that is, she woke to a familiar yet unexpected pain and the feeling of wetness between her thighs. She felt her heart fall, as though this wasn’t the choice she was planning to make. She supposed it was more that the choice had been stolen from her as she quietly slid out of the bed and made her way to the bathroom.   
He felt her get up and rolled over, turning on the lamp. “Erin?” he mumbled, realising she’d completely left the room. A moment later he heard the click to the bathroom door. He was about to roll over and go back to sleep until he saw something from the corner of his eye. The small red stain on the sheet was all he needed to see to understand. He might be a lad but he’d been around the girls so long that he might as well have been one. So he went and made two cups of tea and waited for her to come back.

They’d talked about it that night and into the morning. He’d let Erin cry and scream, tossing between saying maybe God was being kind to her all the way to her being a horrible monster. She’d talked about how much she appreciated him being there even though he felt like he was about as useless as an old VHS tape. When Erin had mentioned she’d like to be able to spend more time with him, he had suggested she do her post-graduate study in London. For the first time, she did immediately hate the idea. And when James had left to catch his flight back, they’d held each other for longer than they needed to, both shaken and unsure but still happy together. He’d barely landed when she had called him to say she wanted to move to London with him the next year. And from there, life had continued for each of them.


	6. Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Erin are married. Flashback to James proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming on this fan fic journey with me!   
> This is the last chapter for this fic, though if I got enough requests and have the time, I may do some sort of sequel/series with this and look more at the other girls.   
> I've never actually finished a multi-chapter fic before so thanks for enjoying it and keeping me motivated. This chapter is pretty short and sweet but I hope you enjoy all the same. 
> 
> Cheers!

6 Months Earlier  
Erin looked at the gate number on her boarding pass and checked the screen for the third time in ten minutes. James just smiled at her and took her hand in his.   
“We have not missed the flight,” he reminded her. “And we won’t.”  
“You’ve never missed a flight before,” she laughed. “I’ve missed a few. I think I’m right to be nervous. Besides, I’ve missed home so much. I just want to be there.”  
“I know. Even I’m exciting to be going back to Derry and I only spent a short few years there compared to the rest of you,” James replied just as an announcement came calling them to board at their gate. He couldn’t have timed them visiting Derry for Easter any better if he’d tried, especially since the whole lot of them would be there. 

It didn’t take long for James to gather the other girls away from Erin, who was busy talking to her Ma Mary and helping her clean the house from top to bottom as Mary was want to do for holidays. For once, Erin didn’t mind helping. It felt like no time had passed and she was back in 1995.   
“Is this going to take long?” Michelle had asked, Niamh screaming as she held her in her arms. “I’ve taken her dummy from her and she’s doing my bloody head in. But she’s getting too old for it now.”  
“Shut it Michelle,” James told her. Once he wouldn’t have dared, but ten years and a bit of growing up changed a lad. “It’s important. And I need you all to help.”  
He explained the plan to the girls, occasionally checking to make sure Erin was still occupied with helping Mary. Then he finished by saying that he’d already spoken to Gerry and Mary and gotten their approval because he knew that would matter to Erin. Not that he’d ever expected them to be anything but happy he was finally planning to marry their daughter.   
“Does that mean we’ll be cousins too?” Orla asked James. He laughed and hugged her because god, he’d missed Orla. She always made things feel less stressful, less momentous and life changing. She was like a breath of fresh air wherever she went.   
“I hate to ruin a perfectly nice moment but what if Erin says no?” Michelle pointedly asked, a now sleeping toddler being swayed back and forth in her arms.   
“Why would she say no?” James and Clare both asked at the same time.   
“Just…what if she does?”  
“Well, I mean that’s…she’s got a right to I suppose,” James said, clearly flustered.  
“It’s ‘ight, I’m just fucking with you,” Michelle said, but her smile showed she was genuinely happy for her cousin. There was a special bond there with her and James was used to the teasing, the push back, but sometimes even now he couldn’t tell when she was seriously asking a question and when she was just stirring him up. “She’ll say yes. A day where all the attention is on her? As if she’d ever say no to that.”

James and Michelle walked along the wall the next morning, finding the spot where almost ten years ago he’d come back, he’d realised he was a Derry Girl through and through. If he had never come back, he might never have been blessed with Erin and his friends. Michelle had been able to convince Deidre to watch Niamh for a couple of hours so they could spend a bit of time celebrating afterwards. James put the cardboard sign down and checked his jacket pocket for the hundredth time even though he knew he had put the box with the ring in it, even though he knew it hadn’t fallen out. He heard the beep of Michelle’s phone and watched her walk off, sitting down to lean against the wall and wait for his own phone to get the message that the girls were in place and ready. 

“What exactly are we doing again?” Erin asked as she followed Clare, Michelle and Orla towards the centre of town.   
“Going for a walk,” Orla said in her usual soft voice. “Looking at the clouds and the birds and the…”  
“But why? And where?” Erin asked.  
“It’s good for you,” Clare said. “I was reading in a magazine that you can add like 5 extra years to your life if you walk every day. And it doesn’t matter where you walk, just that you do.”  
Erin stopped and the girls all looked at her, Michelle raising an eyebrow.   
“I have things to do,” Erin sighed. “Mammy wanted me to do the shopping for her and I wanted to…”  
“Erin, can we just enjoy each other’s company and walk for once?” Clare said but she was clearly nervous and Erin didn’t understand.  
“But why does it have to be right now?” Erin asked.  
“It just does,” Clare replied, stalking off ahead of them. Erin rolled her eyes but followed until they reached the spot where they should have seen Clinton. Where she’d truly realised how much she loved James.   
“Turn around,” Michelle said, winking at Erin.   
Erin did as she was asked and laughed when she spotted James, exactly where he’d come when he’d realised he couldn’t leave Derry, couldn’t leave her behind. He held up a sign that said “Erin Quinn, Marry Me?” and she nodded.   
It didn’t take him long to get down to them, and he knelt before her and held out a small but beautiful gold ring with sapphires almost the same colour as her eyes sitting on either side of a small, sparkling diamond. She didn’t need to think, her mouth said yes without her even being completely aware of it. Then she kissed him, not caring who saw or what anybody thought. She was going to marry one of her best friends, the person who had always been there for her no matter what. No matter how Erin she was being. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And now here they were. Married. Happy. And Erin felt calm. It hadn’t gone exactly to plan, what with the running out of her own wedding, albeit at the end, but it hadn’t mattered. She’d claimed food poisoning to everyone else, although she could see that her Ma did not believe that. In fairness, she didn’t know for sure it was anything else but she had a reasonable suspicion. Michelle had joked she could run out to a pharmacy but Erin had told her not to be stupid and enjoy the evening. When else would there be dozens of adults round to watch Niamh for her so she could loosen up again and be her old, wild self. Besides, now wasn’t the time for more big announcements. Erin just wanted to enjoy her wedding day for what it was.   
James pulled her in close as they danced and it reminded her of that fateful prom night, the night that had made the difference between him being just James and him being someone she loved, someone she could see a future with. They hadn’t gotten to really dance together that night what with Mae and the not quite pig’s blood incident. He kissed her forehead softly.  
“Thank you for marrying me,” he whispered.   
“Thank you for asking me,” she whispered back.   
“Why are we whispering?” came Orla’s soft voice, David standing slightly behind her with his hand on her back. “Anyway, I told the DJ guy to play Take That. Come on.”  
As if out of nowhere, Michelle, Clare and Saoirse joined them, and Erin had to laugh. Here they all were, ten years later and still every bit Derry Girls.


End file.
